Let's start right where we left off last week.
She went back to her
screen and I could see her move her fingers.
"That should be 2.5
hours. It's all gone by know, I'm not sure it has anything to do with
the alcohol."
"Hum..."
I continued to check the
diary. Except for the one time my mother had forced the pills on me,
I had never had any absence of black out for so long.
"What happened with
the last one?" Amy said.
"I don't know, why?"
I didn't want to get into
details, she was reading her own stuff and my diaries were of limit
to her, they were too personal and I didn't want her to go thinking I
was crazy with all those "dreams" and my analyse of them
and my parallel world theory notes.
"You seemed shaken,
I don't know how if is to faint, I never fainted, not even once in my
entire life, but you seemed scared. Could you be scared to faint
again so that your brain kinda hold on on it until you figure it out?
It must have been pretty uncomfortable for you to do it in from of
Tamara, I mean she wasn't really happy or understanding about it."
The thing with Amy, she
talked a lot and she gave way to different thoughts processes in one
go. Now was I scared? Could that be that what I thought was scaring
my so much that I subconsciouly didn't want to travel anymore? Or was
it that my brain didn't want to have me travel anymore in front of
people? Or as it that after last night at the bar I felt like I was
in too much danger being far away from home to feel secure again?
"I might be a little
scared, just I don't know which scary I should fix," I said.
"Well, what about
all of them?" Amy said.
Easier said than done
really. Was I too scared to black out because I was at the university
and not at home? I had blacked out anywhere before, even in crowded
street. It was true that nobody had had the reaction Tamara had last
night but I don't think that was it.
"I think I'm ok with
blacking out anywhere. I never blacked out in a dangerous place
before. The worse trouble I ever got into was blacking out while
standing in the street with nobody to catch me and hurting my head
nothing more than a bump or a small cut. Or blacking out during exams
and well having to retake it the next day if they called my mum which
made other kids cringe or losing time if they didn't call my mum
which lowered my grades a bit."
"They didn't let you
take the exam again?" Amy asked.
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