Hello and Welcome to Thursday Taster again. Talented writers from all over the blogosphere gather together to give
readers tasty parts of their work in progress, you can find the list here.
As I'm currently working on the edits of Rainbow Catcher,
that's the project I will be presenting until it is ready. As it's
under editing, if
you see anything funny, hit me on the head in the comments.
Thank you for the comments on last week's taster, I really appreciate it, especially with the recent feedbacks. Yes, Rainbow Catcher was rejected in Pitch Wars! Even though it's not a surprise, it's a bit... blah you know.
So plan B it is! More work for me, lol. As a result, you may have to comment on the cover picture, hopefully by the end of the month.
Thank you for the comments on last week's taster, I really appreciate it, especially with the recent feedbacks. Yes, Rainbow Catcher was rejected in Pitch Wars! Even though it's not a surprise, it's a bit... blah you know.
So plan B it is! More work for me, lol. As a result, you may have to comment on the cover picture, hopefully by the end of the month.
The
fat man pulled up his jacket’s sleeve to look at his watch. It was
almost 1pm, he needed to hurry out of here.
“Hum,”
he cleared his throat. The gaze of this sick child was really making
him uncomfortable. He hated sick people, being around them was making
him feel sick.
“I’m
going to the toilet,” he said as if needed to explain himself to
her.
He
wondered why he felt that way for a second, then grabbed the bag
filled with Jason’s money. Clarissa was angry, she knew he was
lying, but she just looked at him without saying anything, holding
tight on the blanket as if it could protect her.
The
fat man walked backward to the door and passed his hand in his greasy
hair unable to sustain Clarissa’s eyes any longer. He tweaked to
find the handle and disappeared as quickly as his huge body allowed
him.
Clarissa
fixed the door a bit longer to make sure he was not coming back
before going out from under the blanket. She approached the case
containing her rainbow slowly she could feel the coldness coming from
it.
“You
have to be careful when refrigerating the rainbow,” Everett Cooper
had said. “If your fingers go frozen by the liquid Helium, they
would just fall off.”
Clarissa
refrained from touching the box looking at her fingers.
The
door opened, letting Jason and doctor Marshall enter.
“Where
is he?” Jason said.
“He
said he needed to go to the toilet,” Clarissa answered.
The
doctor came toward the box, putting his thick gloves on.
“Step
back a little,” he said to Clarissa. “It will be really cold.”
Clarissa
moved just a little bit, she wanted to see her rainbow. Jason put the
blanket back on her shoulder as the doctor opened the box. The liquid
Helium started to evaporate in the air with a white smoke. As doctor
Marshall looked in the case, his face lost all expression. Jason and
Clarissa approached slowly to look in as well.
“I’m
sorry,” the doctor said.
The
box was empty.
End Of Chapter one. It was initially a bit longer with Jason's reaction, but I'm still hesitating about including it or not and about the chapters cut in general. You'll get more next week anyway.
Oh no! How horrible.
ReplyDeleteOh wow! What a disappointment. What will happen to Clarissa now? I need to know
ReplyDeleteShe has such a bad situation- but that's what helps shape our characters.
ReplyDeleteYou said if I noticed anything to point it out well here:
Clarissa fixed the door a bit longer
you are missing a word or two- Clarissa fixed her eyes on the door.... or something like that.
I never trusted that fat snake!! Is Clarissa going to die now? Jason should make him pay either with a purple rainbow or his life!
ReplyDeleteOkay now I need to know what happens next... I'm such a groupie
ReplyDeleteOkay now I need to know what happens next... I'm such a groupie
ReplyDeleteThat is one shiesty son of a bitch! I'm now worried about Clarissa.
ReplyDeleteI do want to know Jason's reaction and how he'll respond and what happens to Clarissa. I bet Jason feels like killing the fat man, (I say as a figure of speech). Can't wait for next week's excerpt.
ReplyDeleteI bet Jason feels like killing the fat man, I say that as a figure of speech. I want to know Jason's reaction and how he will respond and what happens now with Clarissa. Can't wait for next week's excerpt.
ReplyDeleteOh no, I hope Clarissa is not gonna die. I agree with Muffy too, he should be made to pay... preferably with his life.
ReplyDelete