It's Wednesday Hump Day Hook again. Find the other writers here. It's also Mid-Week Tease, you can find the other writers here.
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We will continue with Attic Mirror. Today Hitomi is thinking that she is becoming crazy, she just heard some voice coming from inside the mirror apparently...
“You’re not crazy, well
otherwise we both are but I’m pretty sure I’m not and I’m
pretty sure I’m awake too,” he said putting down his book to come
closer.
She turned to look at him again a
bit confused. He was smiling nicely to her and she kind of liked that
smile.
“Are you some kind of ghost?”
she asked
“And are you some kind of
spirit?” he answered laughing a little.
She was looking more and more
confused and really didn’t know what to think of all that and he
could see it. He was a bit confused too but didn’t want to let her
know.
“Listen, I kind of think that
it’s pretty cool, I mean to have you appear like that in my mirror.
It had always been weird and reddish. I always thought something was
wrong with it. But, if you’re feeling awkward, I’ll just put
something on my mirror and leave you alone so that you can enjoy
yours,” he said turning around to get a blue cover with strange
animals drawn on it on his bed. “You’ll just have to knock at the
mirror when you go away so that I can use mine again,” he said
preparing himself to throw the cover on his side of the mirror.
He was looking a bit sad his cover
in his hands and it made Hitomi calm down a little.
“Wait, wait, it’s just weird
but I have seen weirder, I see weirder everyday actually,” she said
thinking about how one of her brothers had become invisible earlier
to make another one of them explode some bottles of paint.
“Really, you must have a very
excited life,” the boy said, happy that she had decided to stay a
bit.
“Not really, it’s more that
things happen around me,” she said. She had always seen herself as
the passive spectator for her siblings’ crazy life.
They were
always so full of energy that at time she felt like they were
draining hers out of her body.
“I know the feeling, you look at
them wishing for something extraordinary to be yours but it’s only
happening to others,” the boy said smiling as if she was the
extraordinary thing he had been waiting all along.
“Pretty much, I mostly have…”
she started and hesitated. She wasn’t sure if it was too safe to
share her thoughts with a complete stranger.
“The bad consequences,” he
finished making her feel like he was maybe not that much of a
stranger after all.
“Yeah,” she said and they
laughed together.”
Nice hook!
ReplyDeletethese are always so fun to read!
ReplyDeletethese are always so funto read!
ReplyDeleteNice hook, well done!
ReplyDeletesuch an interesting story. thanks for sharing this piece. :) ~ C.R.
ReplyDeleteI always like stories with enchanted/magic mirrors -- good piece.
ReplyDeleteVery nicely done. Only one very gentle crit: The boy's point of view where he doesn't want to let her know how he is feeling...leave that for another scene where he tells his POV.
ReplyDeleteVery intriguing hook you have here. Does this set up a deeper connection between the two worlds?