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Monday, October 30, 2023

Mystery Monday 192: Murder at the Conference 89

We start right were we left off last week:

“Christa, I am not doing anything. The only moment when I see him is when he comes pick you up. The only moment I think about him is when you talk about him. If that wasn't for you and him constantly reminding me of his existence, I wouldn't even remember he ever existed.”

“It won't work. I don't believe you. Your life is so shitty that you have to stay at work hoping to see him pick me up, like a crazy stalker, you're really pathetic.”

She strangely reminded me of Nancy in The Craft calling Sarah pathetic. Strangely, there was nothing pathetic about me, it was only in her vision of me. I did what I did because it was who I was, I loved my job. Somehow, things had turned pretty bad for Nancy. If I was Sarah and ended up with panic attacks as a legacy of my relationship with my ex, what was Christa going to get out of it?

End of chapter 3

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Monday, October 23, 2023

Mystery Monday 191: Murder at the Conference 88

We start right were we left off last week:

I could almost hear his voice telling her that, that was his style. He had also tried to convince me that all of my guy friends weren't really friends with me but wanted something more. He had accused me of cheating because his ex-girlfriend cheated so I was obviously cheating too every night we didn't spend together.

Thinking about it, it was madness.

I wasn't allowed to form my own opinion on things and people because he already had his and I was to believe everything he said. He was so convincing. I tried to do my best to reassure him, to cut down the fun I was having outside of the relationship but it was never enough. Even when I didn't see anyone for a whole week, he wouldn't believe I wasn't up to no good. Me going out meant I was cheating and me not going out was suspicious. There was no way to win and no way to please him so I had given up. At the same time, I had needed to be at his disposal whenever he wanted. That was no way to live.

He was doing the same with Christa. She didn't have boys around except the students in the lab so he was making her see me in the least glorious way possible. But just thinking that she could believe that I wanted him back was madning. And there was nothing I could do about it, except avoid the conversation.

“And all that time, I thought we were friends. How can you do this to me?”

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Monday, October 16, 2023

Mystery Monday 190: Murder at the Conference 87

We start right were we left off last week:

“Of course, see the way you threw yourself at the first guy you met just because he dumped you. That's rather pathetic, don't you think? He realised that you weren't good enough to be his girlfriend. You were always hanging out with other men, even when he was still with you. That's why he repeatedly dumped you, because he couldn't handle that you were cheating on him.”

“I never cheated on anyone,” I said.

“Oh come on, didn't you go for one to one dinner with pretended friends? And more than once and even when he told you not to do it anymore. And people are texting you all the time.”

“I'm a person, a free and independent person who doesn't need anyone's permission to live my life.”

“Well, that's not how relationships work,” Christa said, as if she knew best.

“Maybe not for you,” I said.

I turned back to my computer. I was done once again with this conversation.

“He'll never take you back. No matter how many times you try to convince me of how bad he is because you want to break us up, it won't work.”

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Monday, October 9, 2023

Mystery Monday 189: Murder at the Conference 86

We start right were we left off last week:

“I prefer that than to have a boyfriend accused of killing his own brother, without a job and who doesn't give a shit what I'm doing on a daily basis even if that means leaving the country for two weeks.”

“You know nothing about Seiji and you know nothing about my relationship with him,” I said.

“I know enough.”

“You want my ex, fine by me, have him, have fun with him and leave me and Seiji out of it.”

“I can't do that, because it's so obvious that you still want my boyfriend.”

I didn't see how me telling her again and again that I wasn't interested was obvious proof of the contrary but I wondered if that wasn't just him trying to play us against each other.

“Did he tell you that?”

“Of course he did! He said that he could get you back whenever he wanted because you want him so bad.”

“No even in his wildest dream,” I said.

This was infuriating but I couldn't expect any less from him.

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Monday, October 2, 2023

Mystery Monday 188: Murder at the Conference 85

We start right were we left off last week:

The anger was back. In less than a minute, the bliss of my perfect poster and all the possibilities my next research had to offer had been erased.

“I can't, you're totally unreasonable. You're jealous of me and my boyfriend because your relationship suck. You're pretending to work and everyone believe you when you are not better than anyone else. What am I supposed to do, take it all and shut my mouth? I know you liked my boyfriend but your relationship with him is over, he is mine and you have to get over it.”

I shook my head in disbelieve.
“Then keep him, I don't want him, I dumped him...”
“He dumped you, I can't believe how you turn all the fact around to suit your own agenda, stopped lying.”
“All right, he dumped me, every three weeks and begged me to take him back and the last time, I didn't. Because I had enough.”
“And you regret it,” she said.
“No, I don't, he wasn't good enough for me, and I don't think he is good enough for you either. If he was he wouldn't he adding to your stress about China, he would let you go to the conference and have fun without making you feel bad about the effect it will have on your relationship.”

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Monday, September 25, 2023

Mystery Monday 187: Murder at the Conference 84

Hello mystery lovers and welcome to a new Mystery Monday.

I hope you had a great week-end. Here is a new little part of Murder at the Conference. Murder at the Conference is a stand alone sequel to Harajuku Kiss.

We start right were we left off last week:

It was a sort of cultural difference that I couldn't get passed. I wouldn't let anyone believe that taking me out three times and paying for the meals guarantied them that I was going to sleep with them. For me that was madness. I also felt uncomfortable with people paying for me at the restaurant, I was an independent woman. It took me months to know someone and to know if I could have a relationship with them. Except for Seiji because we had been thrown together by strange and dangerous circumstances and our relationship had been based a lot more on a James bond movie type of attraction than knowing each other. But even when he stayed at my place while the police was still investigating his brother's death and the virus, it took us a while to become a couple officially. A lot more than three dates. I couldn't understand the obligation to have sex and "have sex first then learn to know each other later" way of thinking. Why were they in such a hurry?

“Seriously putting on your earphones was ridiculous,” she said.

“At least it worked,” I answered.

“You're always so rude.”

“And so are you, trying to force a conversation I don't want about a topic I don't want to talk about on me. Try putting yourself in my shoes for once,” I said.

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Monday, September 18, 2023

Mystery Monday 186: Murder at the Conference 83

Hello mystery lovers and welcome to a new Mystery Monday.

I hope you had a great week-end. Here is a new little part of Murder at the Conference. Murder at the Conference is a stand alone sequel to Harajuku Kiss.

We start right were we left off last week:

She didn't have a boyfriend and she was a bit clueless and she really wanted someone. I believed she gave me advice to help me make the most of my relationship, make it last.

But the more I thought about it, the less healthy it got. She wanted A boyfriend, not a special guy she really liked, nope, just A boyfriend it didn't matter who he was.

She explained to me this three dates business they have in the US. You have to go out with a guy three times and if you accept to go out with him three times, on the third date you are expected to have sex and sort of rush into the relationship. That drove me a bit nuts. I had been to dinner with guys many times, way more than three times before deciding anything. I also had lunch with friends without it meaning anything more.

I realized that in her eyes, I was some sort of s player. It made her mad if I went out with male friends without my boyfriend around and she told me I was a bad girlfriend.

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Monday, September 11, 2023

Mystery Monday 185: Murder at the Conference 82

Hello and welcome to a new Mystery Monday.

I hope you had a great week-end. Here is a new little part of Murder at the Conference. Murder at the Conference is a stand alone sequel to Harajuku Kiss.

We start right were we left off last week:

I hadn't been in a bad mood to begin with I had just unforced my boundaries. Boundaries were a really new concept for me. I had never learned about them growing up. Nobody ever teaches you that you can protect yourself by deciding what is acceptable and what is not, except for extremely bad stuff like physical abuses. People always told you that you had to conscent for sex otherwise it was rape. That you had to leave a relationship if your partner beat you up, that you had to tell your parents or teachers if an adult was mistreating or abusing you in anyway.

But nobody ever told me that it was the same for mental and emotional abuse. That I didn't have to listen to everything people wanted to say. They taught you not to interrupt other people when they spoke. They told you that it was good to take advises and that criticism was for your own good but nobody prepared you for the mean things kids at school were going to tell you, nobody prepared you for your parents using shame and fear to make you behave and nobody had prepared me for controlling boyfriends, for boyfriends trying to gaslight me and dismissing my feeling, for people trying to make me feel ashamed of what I like, what I did and who I truly was.

And people like Christa. At first, I really thought she meant well.

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Monday, September 4, 2023

Mystery Monday 184: Murder at the Conference 81

Hello and welcome to a new Mystery Monday.

I hope you had a great week-end. Here is a new little part of Murder at the Conference. Murder at the Conference is a stand alone sequel to Harajuku Kiss.

We start right were we left off last week:

We rolled it back and I put the elastics around it before sliding it in my poster carrier. It was one good thing done. Now I felt relieved.

“So now you can start on the LiH,” he said.

“I'm already running the code for preliminary results but the potential looks a bit odd.”

“Well, we'll see what to do about it when you got something that converges.”

If I could just get it before going to China... But that wasn't possible. It would take a lot longer even for preliminary results. But if I could get something before going to China, that would be epic and that would be a proof that my code worked not only for small molecules but also for something more complex, even if I wasn't too happy about the inaccurate potentials we were using. I would just have to figure out a way around it. A way to get things done more accurately and that was something I could get really excited about. Then I would add photons. An entire line of new possible projects was opening in front of me. I was so happy about everything that I forgot to but my earphones back on when I sat back down at my desk. Christa hadn't forgotten me though.

“Are you feeling in a better mood now that you have showed off your perfect poster?”

I didn't say anything.

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Monday, August 28, 2023

Mystery Monday 183: Murder at the Conference 80

Hello and welcome to a new Mystery Monday.

I hope you had a great week-end. Here is a new little part of Murder at the Conference. Murder at the Conference is a stand alone sequel to Harajuku Kiss.

We start right were we left off last week:

“Well yes, she does and you should be doing the same except that I haven't seen your corrections yet,” our supervisor said entering the room by the door I had left ajar and saving me from starting another argument with Christa.

“I'll email them to you now,” Christa said.

“Good,” he said to her and then turn to face me. “Let me help you with that. How was the small print?”

“The same as the one I printed yesterday.”

“Good, sometimes they have a bit of trouble with the colors,” he said.

“That's why I stay in 32 color base, normally with just mixing them it's alright, if I use the cyan red something base it always looks a bit different.”

“Oh yes, because you are still using latex to make your posters, I always forget about that.”

He took the bottom of my poster and we rolled it open. He scrutinized it from top to bottom probably reading everything. Upside down, I just made sure that the boxes were aligned, that there was no big white spots, especially in the text in case I had added too many spaces, that my text didn't run out of the box and that each lines on the graphs were visible. It seems to be ok as far as I could tell.

“That's perfect,” my supervisor said. “We could have added a little bit of data on the graph but that's going to have to do.”

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