Friday, May 29, 2015

Vampire Friday: Vampire Heart 19

Have you been bitten yet? I have been, it's true this time... By a bunch of female mosquitoes.... They love me, it can't be help but that's still a bit early.

So are you ready for JuNoWriMo? Two days left before that start. Viorel is decided to meet the Vikings and I don't think I can do anything to stop it. June is his month after all.
Yeah, I know, I could only find this badge when I wrote this post but they must have cool one somewhere, with a robot.

As usual, here is where you sign up to be part of our awesome Vampire Friday blog hop team! You know you want to, just join already!

Anyway before I can continue writing Vampire Heart, I better give you another tibit of it.

As the time past, I started to study my hosts. For me she was the typical human woman and the captain that the typical definition of a human man. They were the only person I had been close to for so long and I started to figure out that human were living with habits. I didn’t really know why but I had the feeling that I would be able to adapt to anything. I put it on my vampire part. Vampires' lifes are really long, hundreds of years, human's life is a lot shorter so their adaptability is reduced. Human can’t really adapt to anything that changes their life drastically. When the boat run out of water or candles, we had to cope up with it, for me that was just one inconvenient and in few minutes I stopped thinking about it and was doing something else. 
Doing something else than what you usually do at a particular time is really hard for humans. They stay in a lethargic state, looking a bit lost. I realized that the human brain was slow and I figured out that it was the reason why their body was slow. My brain was slower without blood and after a while I started to carve for blood again. But I knew that the boat wouldn’t stop long enough yet for me to get some. Studying my hosts was like taking a step forward into living in the human world. For them I was human and if I wanted to make everyone believe I was I needed to lose my vampire habits. I needed to understand them as much as I could.
Humans are strange creatures, they are experiencing a lot of different feeling, almost simultaneously and continuously and most of the time contradictory. The lady could cry while sad and while too happy that was really strange for me and I had a lot of trouble differentiating between her feelings. I don’t cry, I cried only once and I knew that I was never going to cry again the sadness of that day had been too heavy for anything that could ever happened to me to make me reach that state of mind again. The sadness in me was like the cry of the girl in the prison, something prisoner forever of my lost memory. 
The lady put my mistakes as a human on my young age and I never denied it. The way she was seeing me was the way I should act in the future in front others. All the humans were the same in the end, some a little more difficult to convince but all convincible. 
At the same time that made me ask myself lots of questions about vampires and about the other part in me, the part that I couldn’t show in the day light and the relationship with the humans. Did young human generally had trouble to understand feeling? Are vampires all so cold-hearten and deprived of any emotions as I feel? Then why did my father help me? Did he love me? And my mum? I had no memory of her at all. At those moments I wanted my memory back so much, I wondered if erasing it had also erased my feelings. I started to get tired of the life on board or maybe I just started tired of not being myself while not knowing what being myself meant. I didn’t talk much, starting to adopt the behavior I had with the farmers.

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