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I always want to do as many outstanding things as possible.
That can be about Traveling all around the world... about Creating amigurumis... about Learning new languages... about my work in Atomic Physics... and a lot of other stuff...
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Welcome to my crazy world!
I didn't wait for them to
answer. I closed my door as fast as I could and collapsed on my bed.
My heart was beating faster than I recalled ever have felt her beat.
I was scared. "She is going into shock," the help or nurse
or whoever was there had said but it is the mind or the body going
into shock? I had no idea and I needed to remember to look it up. I
could still feel the fire licking at my body. I pulled up my sleeves
to make sure that I didn't have the black traces on my arms my other
self had had. I opened my notebook and started to write down every
details furiously. I had to calm down. I needed to get it out of my
I look at the water on my
desk. I was thirsty. I didn't realise how much until know but I stop
my hand on the bottle and searched for more traces of fire on my body
before opening it. Of course, this body hadn't been into a fire. I
had been on Amy's bed that entire time and the closest thing to fire
in that room was her Tamara dragon. The thought made me laugh and
finally relax. I didn't bother taking out a glass and just drunk as
much water as I could without making myself sick. It had the effect
of getting the last fright about the fire out of me. I also wanted a
shower but I knew there was no time for that.
I looked for the buses
once more. I was finally really back into this world. The transition
weren't always really easy but I guess waking up from the black out
at the hospital was making them easier. I needed to build something
familiar around here to help myself get back with reality. I didn't
want to carry everything from one world to the next, that would have
been plain weird. Still as I looked for the bus to save ourself
tonight I wonder what was wrong with me. Why the different worlds
suddenly seemed so connected. After all, I didn't see Tamara in the
other world. I didn't know that it was tonight's party were there
would be something difficult happening. It could be any party, any
time. I closed my eye and took a deep breath. The panic was still
present. In a very insidious form. I needed to go through tonight too
to completely get rid of everything. The meaning of life, the meaning
of death, the meaning of my travel and the meaning of blacking out
just for me. That's what I was looking for and I didn't really kow
why every one else seemed to be living their life as if they didn't
know that there was something more beyond. There was no meaning in
partying, there was no meaning in trying to fit in or make friends.
It was all just a distraction from what we really wanted and what we
really needed and the search for meaning but somewhere inside of me,
I wanted to be friend with Amy. Maybe, if I really saved us tonight,
that would also allow me to figure out the meaning to my trips. Why I
was going there and why me.