“I’m not too sure, it had nothing to do with my past”, I said totally confused.
“Dreams are not easy things to understand, they are some part of us which are hidden very deeply and which are very difficult to comprehend in most cases. They are making connection inside our mind that our consciousness can’t reach.” Nicolas said.
He said more but that didn’t help much. How something I couldn’t understand was supposed to help me figure out more about myself. I finished my potatoes without a word and helped Perenelle to clean. I didn’t do it very often but today I felt like doing something useful was calming me down.
“I need to go in town to send some mail to my friends in Praha and to make arrangement for the move”, Nicolas said.
The move, for the night I had forgotten about it. I looked around at the house and I could see the same feeling in Perenelle’s eyes. I didn’t stay here that long but I still had memories here. It was the smell of the first place I could ever call home since I escaped the vampires. I didn’t know if I had ever called the castle home but I was almost certain that here was what a home should felt like. Here was the place where I learned to be human, where I learned that I didn’t need blood if I didn’t want to, where I knew I could come back even after killing because the people here where not going to judge who I was. Here was my home but for Perenelle that was much more than that. After all she had spent all her life here. She had seen the world pass through those windows. She had seen the love, the death and all the mixture of light and dark feeling pass between these walls. I knew that leaving this place would be more to her than to any of us.
“Do we really have to go?” I said simply. It was more like a rhetorical question than to try to fight the evidence.
“Yes”, she answered. Her voice didn’t flicker and for the first time I realized that she was the stronger of the two. Always hiding behind Nicolas, always staying calm and working toward a goal that she seemed to be the only one to see. If he was to fall she would be the one holding him back, if she was to fall he wouldn’t have enough strength for it. I closed my eyes a second and I realized that it was the same for me. No matter how much I had thought I was the one protecting Sorina in the end she had been the one protecting me all along.
“So I’ll just stay here to help you pack”, I said looking at Perenelle.
“Of course, there are so many things that we need to prepare for.”
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