Sunday, January 11, 2015

WeWriWar 85 Demon and Fairy

Hello everyone and welcome to a new excerpt of Demon and Fairy for the  Week-end Writing Warrior and Snippet Sunday.

Let's continue our demon's story! 

In the previous episodes: Seti let the chaos got out of him as the father of his sister's fiance threaten to break the engagement. Wild, he flies to the beach to see the only person near whom he can get rid of the Chaos without pain, the fairy Kallisto in the Human world below his. He can only observe her through a tidal pool. But this time, she is in danger. Trying to rescue her from a snake, Seti lands in the world below. However, as Kallisto tries to touch him, he flies away back to his hidden place on the beach and listen to Kallisto's conversation with her best friend Kelpie who once again proposes to her and is refused. Kallisto needs to choose between Kelpie or going back to the fairy world to marry prince Kordelius. As the night comes, Kallisto goes home and so does Seti and of course his parents are all weird... (Remember, Seti used his forbidden power and left without an explanation... ) Then Seti was mysteriously pushed in his room, in the dark and apparently turned blind. For the past few weeks, Seti is trying to control the Chaos who wants to take over his body. We had some flash back to explain the relationship between Seti and the Chaos. Now Seti seems to be in control again but for how long?

Here are my 8 sentences, we start where we left off last week. Now that the Chaos has calmed down, Seti is looking for the way out. 


He started to dig faster. The power of the Chaos seemed to propagate in his whole body. He had called for it, he had needed it and not just for training this time. It was sufficient to give it more power over his strength. In a way, he wanted to hurt anyone who would come his way. Seti took a deep breath to regain the control. There were still people in this house he wouldn’t hurt. Even if sometimes he wanted to, even if they were giving him all the reasons to do it with their constant and repeated unfairness. He still couldn’t resolve to do something bad.

Answer to last week's comments

Will he ever control the Chaos without being in pain? I'm not sure. I hate headaches too.

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11 comments:

  1. Nice 8.
    This passage would be stronger if, after the first two sentences, the reader heard everything else from Seti--rather then the narrator. He could be thinking out loud or to himself.

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  2. I love his internal war between wanting to hurt people and not wanting to at the same time.

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  3. Chip has a good idea. I'd love to read it in Seti's own words. This is a strong scene.

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  4. Agreed with Frank. Having the narrator give us this information keeps me detached somehow. I think I'd connect better to Seti and his struggle if I had his thoughts directly from him here.

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  5. Seti is getting stronger. I'm glad he doesn't want to hurt anyone and is aware that he could.

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  6. I am such a Seti fan, love that he's determined to control the Chaos so he doesn't hurt the people he does care for.

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  7. Great snippet, always pull in me in.

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  8. Nicely done on the emotions ... well done.

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  9. I feel for him, great emotion and snippet!

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  10. Yay for Seti! I'm glad he can resist the Chaos and still think for himself.

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