Let's continue our demon's story!
In the previous episodes: Seti let the chaos got out of him as the father of his sister's fiance threaten to break the engagement. Wild, he flies to the beach to see the only person near whom he can get rid of the Chaos without pain, the fairy Kallisto in the Human world below his. He can only observe her through a tidal pool. But this time, she is in danger. Trying to rescue her from a snake, Seti lands in the world below. However, as Kallisto tries to touch him, he flies away back to his hidden place on the beach and listen to Kallisto's conversation with her best friend Kelpie who once again proposes to her and is refused. Kallisto needs to choose between Kelpie or going back to the fairy world to marry prince Kordelius. As the night comes, Kallisto goes home and so does Seti and of course his parents are all weird... (Remember, Seti used his forbidden power and left without an explanation... ) Then Seti was mysteriously pushed in his room, in the dark and apparently turned blind. For the past few weeks, Seti is trying to control the Chaos who wants to take over his body. We had some flash back to explain the relationship between Seti and the Chaos. Now Seti seems to be in control again but for how long?
Here are my 8 sentences, we start where we left off last week. Now that the Chaos has calmed down, Seti is looking for the way out.
He
started to dig faster. The power of the Chaos seemed to propagate in
his whole body. He had called for it, he had needed it and not just
for training this time. It was sufficient to give it more power over
his strength. In a way, he wanted to hurt anyone who would come his
way. Seti took a deep breath to regain the control. There were still
people in this house he wouldn’t hurt. Even if sometimes he wanted
to, even if they were giving him all the reasons to do it with their
constant and repeated unfairness. He still couldn’t resolve to do
something bad.
Answer to last week's comments
Will he ever control the Chaos without being in pain? I'm not sure. I hate headaches too.
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Nice 8.
ReplyDeleteThis passage would be stronger if, after the first two sentences, the reader heard everything else from Seti--rather then the narrator. He could be thinking out loud or to himself.
I love his internal war between wanting to hurt people and not wanting to at the same time.
ReplyDeleteChip has a good idea. I'd love to read it in Seti's own words. This is a strong scene.
ReplyDeleteAgreed with Frank. Having the narrator give us this information keeps me detached somehow. I think I'd connect better to Seti and his struggle if I had his thoughts directly from him here.
ReplyDeleteSeti is getting stronger. I'm glad he doesn't want to hurt anyone and is aware that he could.
ReplyDeleteI feel bad for him.
ReplyDeleteI am such a Seti fan, love that he's determined to control the Chaos so he doesn't hurt the people he does care for.
ReplyDeleteGreat snippet, always pull in me in.
ReplyDeleteNicely done on the emotions ... well done.
ReplyDeleteI feel for him, great emotion and snippet!
ReplyDeleteYay for Seti! I'm glad he can resist the Chaos and still think for himself.
ReplyDelete