Here we are, back again for a new Excerpt of Demon and Fairy. This week, I entered pitch wars and I'm waiting for the results to come on September 3rd, so cross your fingers for me.
Here are my 8 sentences, the weirdness continues (of course he is Seti). And we start where we left off last weeks.
The
voice of Chaos laughed. Seti huddled up on the floor trying to forget
the pain; He couldn’t concentrate with the pain, it was hurting too
much. He couldn’t remember how many times he had wanted the pain to
kill him thinking that if he died at least the pain would stop.
“I
got to get out of here,” the voice of Chaos yelled again
and Seti could feel his hands burn.
He sat up promptly in the dark, using the Chaos in the darkness wasn’t a good idea. He needed to
control it, no matter what. He wondered if he could hurt the Chaos
the same way the Chaos hurt him, but it wasn’t a good idea either.
He couldn’t fight now, he was feeling too weak and the headache kept
on amplifying as if the Chaos wanted to take over his body.
I guess we all agree that Seti's day sucks and that the chaos is a pain in the head. Now, I'm not going to tell you what will happen next before it actually happens. ;)
Joyce: Thanks for the edits.
Chip: He had some chicken and potatoes and his usual tomato juice.
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That Chaos dude sounds like a tough customer!
ReplyDeleteSomeone(thing) to avoid.
Kudos!
Definitely not in a good place right now. I could feel the struggle to keep calm. Well done.
ReplyDeletePoor Seti. I can feel his pain, though, and I have to wonder what does happen if he gives in to the Chaos.
ReplyDeleteYou have really captured his confusion and his appealing innocence. He has no idea that his parents are behind this. I'm hooked on this story.
ReplyDeleteWhoa, I really feel for Seti. Nice job.
ReplyDeleteInteresting snippet and concept. I enjoyed reading it.
ReplyDeleteJuneta at Writer's Gambit
This sounds like a very scary situation for Seti to find himself in.
ReplyDeleteIt's getting more and more intense!
ReplyDeleteOK, Seti needs to figure out how to beat the Chaos at its own game! I so feel for him...
ReplyDeleteI'm a little worried about him. He seems to be in dreadful pain.
ReplyDeleteInteresting. What is this Chaos?
ReplyDeleteJust as Seti seems to be, I'm a bit confused about what's going on within him.
Whatever the chaos in his head is, it doesn't sound like it's good for him.
ReplyDeleteNicely done!
ReplyDeleteVery good. You've really captured the feel of pain & disorientation here.
ReplyDelete