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Sunday, July 20, 2014

WeWriWar 60 Demon and Fairy

Hello everyone !

Welcome to Week-end Writing Warrior and Snippet Sunday.

It's time to oscillate back to Demon and Fairy once again. Did you miss Seti? What is supposed to happen is going to be happening soon, when the Chaos's setting in things are generally unpleasant. By the way, the book is 75% off on smashwords through July.


In the previous episodes: Seti let the chaos got out of him as the father of his sister fiance threaten to break the engagement. Wild, he fly to the beach to see the only person near who he can get ride of the Chaos without pain, the fairy Kallisto in the Human world below his. He can only observe her through a tidal pool. But this time, she is in danger. Trying to rescue her from a snake, Seti lands in the world below. However, as Kallisto tries to touch him he flies away back to his hidden place on the beach and listen to Kallisto's conversation with her best friend Kelpie who once again proposes to her and is refused. Kallisto needs to chose between Kelpie or going back to the fairy world to marry prince Kordelius. As the night come, Kallisto goes home and so does Seti and of course his parents are all weird... (remember Seti used his forbidden power and left without an explanation... )

Here are my 8 sentences with creative punctuation for everything to fit, the weirdness continues (of course he is Seti). And we start just where we left off 2 weeks ago.

He walked out of the shower and rubbed himself with a towel.
Perfumed towel, she really has something huge to be forgiven for, I hope they didn’t empty my room again,” Seti said, drying himself. He would have preferred his father to yell at him; his weird questions about fighting on the beach and his mother's strange and uncommon attentions were more worrying than anything else.
Maybe, I scared him enough this morning to have them treat me at least like a person,” he said, “maybe.” He still doubted it.
He passed on his clean clothes, and gathered his dirty clothes in the basket. He walked toward his bedroom. The Chaos manifested suddenly causing him pain in the back of the head, it wasn’t its usual voice, it was a strange and disturbing humming sound.
  
Answer to last week's comments:

I'm so sorry that you all seem to like Kaji, not that he is a bad guy. Thanks for stopping by for him. 
 
My blog tour for Harajuku Kiss started already, thanks to Chip. If you are interested in knowing more about the book consider stopping to his place, there is also an excerpt over there. All the excerpts are going to be different during the blog tour, I'll hope you'll enjoy them. 


 
 
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11 comments:

  1. A lot of people like to use creative punctuation to make their snippets fit. I much rather you have extra sentences. I have more than eight, but several are short, so I didn't worry about it.

    When you mentioned that he rubbed himself with a towel, it came off as sexual. Is that what you meant? I'd like a more detailed description of his pain.

    http://joycelansky.blogspot.com/2014/07/weekend-writing-warriors-blog-hop-72014.html

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  2. I didn't think anything sexual about the towel until I read Joyce's comment and now I can't stop thinking that. I think I would have liked it to read "He walked out of the shower rubbing himself with a towel." It's good to be reading about Seti again.

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  3. I'm concerned that his parents are up to no good. The perfumed towel and his mother's attention really come through as unusual. Well done.

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  4. I like the excerpt. I do think you could just delete "rubbing himself with a towel" since you also used "drying himself" a bit later.

    WeWriWa blog hoppers who have participated a lot probably understand that a little creative punctuation here in the excerpts doesn't reflect how the scene will appear in the finished book. I didn't have concerns about that here.

    As a WeWriWa moderator, though, I do want to mention that we are an *eight* sentence meme. Creative punctuation can help writers stay within that guideline. If an excerpt can't be fitted into 8 sentences, it's probably best to choose another snippet.

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  5. I always miss Seti when we don't see him for a week or two. Uh oh, something must be up with the Chaos! Can't wait to find out more...

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  6. Perhaps it's context--but I didn't think anything sexual about the towel rub. I wonder what's up with the humming sound? Welcome back, Seti. ;-)

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  7. Hmm, I just wanna know what's up with the humming sound? Yikes!

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  8. Uh oh, never a good sign when the Chaos starts acting up! Another fascinating excerpt...put me on Team Seti.

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  9. The perfumed towel is a great detail. It sets the tone for the rest of the snippet. Very nice.

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  10. He seems unusually upset about a towel being perfumed... unless he's really angry about something else.

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  11. So now I'm curious about his parents. Are they being overly nice because he scared the crap out of them or ... are they up to something else?
    (I'm still working on last weeks.)

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