Hello everyone !
Welcome to Week-end Writing Warrior and Snippet Sunday.
Here are my 8 sentences with creative punctuation for everything to fit, the weirdness continues (of course he is Seti).
Answer to last week's comments:
Welcome to Week-end Writing Warrior and Snippet Sunday.
Harajuku Kiss is almost ready for publication. I stayed awake until 4.40am last night to format it! Now I'm feeling a bit... sleepy.
Here are my 8 sentences with creative punctuation for everything to fit, the weirdness continues (of course he is Seti).
Seti
didn’t listen to the rest of the conversation; they were
arguing about him again, he could have help it and told them that he
already knew the truth, and who everybody thought he was. But, he
enjoyed seeing them like that, it was his revenge for what everybody
had done to him. They wanted him to do everything alone, to be alone,
always, so he had gained his knowledge of his own powers alone too.
Why would he help them when they never tried anything to help him? He
walked to the bathroom, his mum had prepared his clothes but they
were not well fold near the shower, they were scattered in disorder
all around the room. He smiled. He knew something was going to
happen, something really annoying, and painful for him. It was the
only possible reason why his mum would act like that.
Seti's mum is a little bit nicer than his dad. Seti an his father will need to have a long conversation later but is father is not yet scared enough and Seti is not yet angry enough.
Seti does know mostly everything, he just needs a confirmation and to know why his parent played that game. But he despise them so much that he doesn't really want to listen either.
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You've done a very nice job showcasing his frustration. I do have one tiny nit to pick. This line "were not well fold" feels like a typo. Hope you don't mind me pointing it out.
ReplyDeleteGood luck with publication!
I hope he's wrong about his parents but suspect he's right. Congrats on finishing the book and prepping it for publication. Shout out when it's ready I'm first in line to buy. :)
ReplyDeleteA sad situation going on here but I do like Seti's strength of personality. Another fascinating snippet!
ReplyDeleteI'm curious as to why his mother has his clothes scattered all over the room. It seems an odd thing for someone -- especially a mother -- to do.
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like his parents aren't very nice to him. Congrats on finishing the book.
ReplyDeleteWonder if he's figured things out correctly?
ReplyDeleteI really like how you've shown the family dynamics and Seti's feelings, they seem very real.
ReplyDeleteI would suggest that you change one of the lines "he could have help it and told them that he already knew the truth, and who everybody thought he was" to just "he could have told them that he already knew the truth about who everybody thought he was"; it might flow a little smoother.
Oh bummer...something painful waiting for him...seems like that has been his lot in life.
ReplyDeleteHe smiles. What a great reaction to whatever's going to happen next.
ReplyDeleteCongrats on finishing it, Linda! Chelle and Jess already caught the things that tripped me up while I was reading. This is an interesting story. :-)
ReplyDelete