Sunday, June 22, 2014

Demon and Fairy WeWriWar 56

Hello everyone !

Welcome to Week-end Writing Warrior and Snippet Sunday.

Harajuku Kiss is almost ready for publication. I stayed awake until 4.40am last night to format it! Now I'm feeling a bit... sleepy.

In the previous episodes: Seti let the chaos got out of him as the father of his sister fiance threaten to break the engagement. Wild, he fly to the beach to see the only person near who he can get ride of the Chaos without pain, the fairy Kallisto in the Human world below his. He can only observe her through a tidal pool. But this time, she is in danger. Trying to rescue her from a snake, Seti lands in the world below. However, as Kallisto tries to touch him he flies away back to his hidden place on the beach and listen to Kallisto's conversation with her best friend Kelpie who once again proposes to her and is refused. Kallisto needs to chose between Kelpie or going back to the fairy world to marry prince Kordelius. As the night come, Kallisto goes home and so does Seti and of course his parents are all weird... (remember Seti used his forbidden power and left without an explanation... )

Here are my 8 sentences with creative punctuation for everything to fit, the weirdness continues (of course he is Seti).

Seti didn’t listen to the rest of the conversation; they were arguing about him again, he could have help it and told them that he already knew the truth, and who everybody thought he was. But, he enjoyed seeing them like that, it was his revenge for what everybody had done to him. They wanted him to do everything alone, to be alone, always, so he had gained his knowledge of his own powers alone too. Why would he help them when they never tried anything to help him? He walked to the bathroom, his mum had prepared his clothes but they were not well fold near the shower, they were scattered in disorder all around the room. He smiled. He knew something was going to happen, something really annoying, and painful for him. It was the only possible reason why his mum would act like that.
Answer to last week's comments:

Seti's mum is a little bit nicer than his dad. Seti an his father will need to have a long conversation later but is father is not yet scared enough and Seti is not yet angry enough. 
Seti does know mostly everything, he just needs a confirmation and to know why his parent played that game. But he despise them so much that he doesn't really want to listen either.

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  1. You've done a very nice job showcasing his frustration. I do have one tiny nit to pick. This line "were not well fold" feels like a typo. Hope you don't mind me pointing it out.

    Good luck with publication!

  2. I hope he's wrong about his parents but suspect he's right. Congrats on finishing the book and prepping it for publication. Shout out when it's ready I'm first in line to buy. :)

  3. A sad situation going on here but I do like Seti's strength of personality. Another fascinating snippet!

  4. I'm curious as to why his mother has his clothes scattered all over the room. It seems an odd thing for someone -- especially a mother -- to do.

  5. It sounds like his parents aren't very nice to him. Congrats on finishing the book.

  6. Wonder if he's figured things out correctly?

  7. I really like how you've shown the family dynamics and Seti's feelings, they seem very real.
    I would suggest that you change one of the lines "he could have help it and told them that he already knew the truth, and who everybody thought he was" to just "he could have told them that he already knew the truth about who everybody thought he was"; it might flow a little smoother.

  8. Oh bummer...something painful waiting for him...seems like that has been his lot in life.

  9. He smiles. What a great reaction to whatever's going to happen next.

  10. Congrats on finishing it, Linda! Chelle and Jess already caught the things that tripped me up while I was reading. This is an interesting story. :-)