Just when I said last week that Hump Day Hook was over... it's back with a new twist. This week is action week so I'm supposed to share an action Hook. Therefor, I chose to share a little bit of my never ending vampire story: "Vampire Heart" uneditted.
Viorel is having his first fight.
When
they attacked me, I feint not to be scared but I was. I had
reviewed the fight in my head several time, guessing with their first
move how was going to be the following. I jumped on the left
side of the one-eyed fellow and withdraw my sword. He didn’t expect
the move and it took him two seconds too much to notice where I was,
my blade was already deep in his side. I lowered myself while
retrieving it escaping by chance the attack of the bold fellow. The
smell of the blood leaking from the side of the first guy was
exciting me in a way I wouldn’t have imagine. I hadn’t seen blood
since the village in Transylvania and my senses were slowly changing
as I moved, becoming more acute. I jumped on the left forcing him to
put all his weigh on his left leg as I used his weak balance to
attack his right side. I wanted blood more and more and the blade was
in his side going up. I wanted to bite him but the fear was stronger.
I couldn’t risk being hurt now I had something more important to
do. I stood up and ran, blade in hand, as fast as I could back to the
inn. I didn’t even take the time to dissimulate my bloody sword
before climbing the wooden stairs to my room. I opened the door in a
hurry, making the chair fall heavily on the floor, slammed the door
behind me and put my back on it. The feeling of something strong on
my back made me calm down. The smell of the blood on the sword
leaking slowly on my fingers was making me dizzy, the desire for
blood was increased by its proximity. I knew I should clean it to
make the sensation go away but I kept on looking at it,
fascinated and I leaked it. It was an incredible sensation, except
for the slight taste of alcohol. I felt regenerate and stronger than
ever, I felt that everything I was seeing around me was different,
deeper, and more meaningful. This was what it meant to be a vampire.
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Yes, I feel almost dizzy from the heady smell of blood. I'm with your character all the way. I can't decide whether I like the tense jumping or not. It definitely helped convey the "in the moment" urgency/desperation/fuzzy thinking/now.
ReplyDeleteGreat description. Especially love the last line.
ReplyDeleteYour snippet definitely put me in the moment with the vampire!
ReplyDelete