Sunday, November 20, 2016

WeWriWar 182: Rainbow catcher

Welcome to a new excerpt of Rainbow Catcher for the Weekend Writing Warrior and Snippet Sunday

Now let's go back to our story.

Summary of previous episodes: Clarissa is coughing and wanted to watch Everett Cooper on TV but Jason refused, she is due to get her rainbow the next day but she seems scared, to make her feel better Jason leave the TV on. Clarissa tried to explain about rainbows, she is a big fan of Everett Cooper but Jason is not too sure about it. Clarissa complained about her dialophone but Jason needs to go to work. Before completely leaving he is thinking about getting her her rainbow. We flashed back to the meeting Jason had with a rainbow seller at the black market. Jason left Clarissa's room to go to work. Jason was talking to his boss about the rainbow coming the next day. Jason prepared the money for the rainbow in a sport bag and went to the hospital. The rainbow seller arrived for the delivery. But it was a scam and Jason prepares to go get the rainbow himself in the desert. Markus has a last surprise for him.
We start just where we left off last week.

It was already nice enough of them to have been with him until now.
“You will need to be more careful than that in the desert,” Markus said. “If you let any inattention show up it will be the end of you.”
“I know,” Jason said.
He knew he had to be careful even though he didn’t really know against what. He always had to be careful, everywhere, all the time, about what he was doing, what he was saying. He had been careful for two years, as soon as his parents had died and he had been left pretty much on his own with Clarissa, all he had done had been to be careful. He was getting tired of it, he just wanted to run away from himself.

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  1. That last line is intriguing. It isn't just the situation he wants to run away from, but the person that his situation has turned him into. Very subtle.

  2. I think any caregiver could identify with him--wanting to run away from what must seem like a lifetime of responsibility. Good snippet.

  3. That last line is wonderful. It says so much in so few words.

  4. Oh I was so right on last week's... He IS breaking inside himself. Wow... That just made him so much more relatable and intriguing. Well done.

  5. That last line is heart breaking.