Sunday, August 9, 2015

WeWriWar 115: Rainbow Catcher


Welcome to a new excerpt of Rainbow Catcher for the Weekend Writing Warrior and Snippet Sunday
Then Demon and Fairy is also available for free for reviewers through Shut Up & Read. You can have a look at it here if you want.

Now let's go back to our story.
Summary of previous episodes: Clarissa is coughing and wanted to watch Everett Cooper on TV but Jason refused, she is due to get her rainbow the next day but she seems scared, to make her feel better Jason leave the TV on. Clarissa tried to explain about rainbows, she is a big fan of Everett Cooper but Jason is not too sure about it. Clarissa complained about her dialophone but Jason needs to go to work. Before completely leaving he is thinking about getting her her rainbow.
We start just where we left off last week.

The man Jason had met that Monday was not the kind of man you could find in the phone book. When he entered the bar, he was sweating and repeatedly trying to wipe his forehead with an handkerchief already wet. His suit seemed too small for his large stomach. The grey color made him look like an undertaker, and he was clearly not far from it. Jason had placed the red rose the man asked for as a sign of recognition on his table.
“I’m…” Jason started.
“No names,” the man answered with a low voice looking over his shoulder.
He breathed like a bull and smelled like it too. Jason found him highly disgusting and was in a hurry to get away.

Answer to last week's comments: 

The story is about catching rainbows so it can't be that easy, you know the snippets being in chapter one and all that. 
But yes, apparently there is a trafficking of rainbows in this world.

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15 comments:

  1. You're describing him as "disgusting" pretty well ... that's exactly the impression I had.

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  2. Nice tension in this scene. Your description of the man in the grey suit has me worried, and why is he looking over Jason's shoulder like that?

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  3. I'm with Jason. This is not someone who I'd want to share space and time with.

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  4. Rainbows are so beautiful and in such contrast to the grubbiness he's having to endure to obtain one. I like the way you're juxtaposing the two concepts in this story. Great snippet.

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  5. Great imagery. I could visualize the guy right down to the smell. :) Well done.

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  6. Great visuals. I love your snippet

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  7. Great use of the sense. I can smell that man, and...disgusting.

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  8. Excellent description, both visually and olfactorally.

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  9. Poor Jason, being driven to deal with someone so unsavory. The world of black-market dealings is something for all but the most desperate to avoid. I hope he does his business swiftly and without too much incident. Good tension.

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  10. You put readers right into the scene.
    Well done!

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  11. Terrific description. I love that the rose seems to be the only bright and colorful thing there.

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  12. Terrific description. I love that the rose seems to be the only bright and colorful thing there.

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  13. "He breathed like a bull and smelled like it too." Great description, and I can really feel his apprehension and nervousness in this snippet. Nice job.

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  14. Great description. I love this scene. I felt like I was there.

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