Let's start right where we left off last week.
Or I would find a job,
probably part-time somewhere in a cafe or in a library and I might be
fired severals time for blacking out until I managed to get a
permanent position for something that wouldn't be bothered by my
black out. I might get a boyfriend too, and marry him and have kids
or not, because he might worry about them blacking out too so we
might wait until it's too late. Then we would have a house and a car
to pay for with our small salary which won't allow us to do anything
else than just live there. There would be only rare holidays in the
country side possibly always at the same place because it was cheap.
Then I'll grow old to be a bother to my kids one half of me hoping
they do better than me and the other half happy to see them go
through the same struggle because obviously if I couldn't do it and
they can't do it either, it means it's too hard to be done so I can
stop blaming myself for not trying harder when I had a chance. I
guess that little reflection put myself into perspective. Did the
other not see it that way? Or did they see it and decide to go for it
anyway? University for sure wouldn't guaranty me a better life but at
least I had a total of eight years to prepare the life I really
wanted for myself.
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