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| Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay |
"It all started when I was four. One day, I fainted. Fainted is nothing much really. There are a lot of kids who can even do it on purpose. At first, the doctor said that I was asking for attention. That I needed something I couldn't verbalize. My father took it as such, my mother however decided that there was something wrong with me. A child seeking attention would definitely start a tantrum first, but I would just faint in the middle of my meals or while sleeping or when playing quietly. And when I woke up, I would tell them stories. I don't have any record of the stories of that time, my mother classified them as child nonsensical fantasy.
"That's when the brain scan started. I was fainting and she decided there must be something wrong with my brain. She closely monitored everything I ate and made sure that I didn't get any extra gluten or sugar or whatever she thought was bad for me at school. She told the teacher to call her if I was to black out at school. She was always one ring away and I ended up at the hospital on a daily basis. They would take pictures of my brain, do blood tests, make sure I was feeling fine nad let us go. It took considerable time and energy from both my mother and me and her relationship with my father deteriorated partially because of it, partially because he had a problem of his own. He tried to stop her from over reacting with each black out but there was not use. There was a lot of yelling and a lot of anger hanging in the air. When I was seven, I was still going through several faint a day, and my father couldn't take it anymore so he left us. My mother made sure during the divorce that he was to never see me again. Few weeks after winning at becoming my only care giver, she had new drugs tested on me. At first it was good, I was becoming a normal girl and she was happy, no more black out, no more funny stories and lies, not more drama. But it wasn't all that simple. My body got used to the drug and the following reaction was unprecedented. I went through black out after black out barely able to say awake long enough to eat. I spent the few following weeks at the hospital and my father gave me a phone to hide from my mother but that I could use to call and text him. We always stayed in contact that way and he asked me to right down anything I would see during my black out. That's when things turned out to become very different for me."
Alex still hadn't looked at me. He was just listening intensely, probably concentrating more on my story than on the road.
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