Have you been bitten yet? It's almost June already! Damn, time flies and June is the month where I got Vampire Heart written. I'm so not ready to have Viorel play with the Vickings, so not ready at all! But I discovered that Viking Vampires is a thing. I might watch this later.
Alright here is the fun fact for this week. I have another vampire story started. It's called "Sun Kiss" and Viorel is in there but not as the main character. I think if I ever finish Vampire Heart, Viorel will be main character enough for a vampire life time. Actually it's more like a love story between a Vampire determine to save his species and a polyphasic human girl who thing he is her responsibility because of some window crashing. Of course, Viorel and Dylan sort of disagree... I haven't written much of it yet. I want to finish Vampire Heart first, even though we all know this is not happening.
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For the next few weeks, I enjoyed having a mum even though it felt a lot different than what I had been imagining about my mum. I enjoyed the nice food she loved to feed me with, the clean bed, she was reading me story and kissing me good night even though each time she was going out of the room I was using and was getting up to read something more interesting.
Her late husband office on the boat was filled with historical reports from Germany and Austria. I didn’t know how but I could read German pretty easily and my notebook was feeling up with several details about the people of those countries that could have been useful when I got there.
For the rest, as she was enjoying it and as it was safer for me, I just started to live as a human child I believed, except for the nightmares. They started the night when I left Budapest, I was sure that they had nothing to do with the men I had killed even though I had been a bit scared at that time. But they sure had everything to do with the blood. They were foggy and dark. I was waking up in cold sweat and yelling. I remembered that it had happened to me before, just after I had escaped the castle, at that time I had been hoping for more, now that I had them, I would have gladly let them go away again.
The lady was coming always reassuring but I could see in her eyes that in those particular moments, she was afraid, afraid of me. She never talked about it during the day, when I was calming down and pretending to be back asleep, she was going back to sleep as well. I didn’t really like having her there to see my fear, that was something private and that was forbidding me from writing the few details I had straight away. Each time I woke up I couldn’t remember, a part of me wanted to try to run away from the nightmare, to escape her scared eyes on me, but the other part wanted me to go deeper. Each time she was walking out of the room I was taking the notebook and trying to write a word or draw something from the nightmare but that was almost impossible. I was trying so hard to remember. I ended up staring at the ceiling with pen in hand waiting for the words to come to me and like frenetically wrote what I thought I saw, what I felt or smell but it didn’t make much sense. The most present thing that was coming to me was the fire, it was coming back every single night. That fire was separating me from something, something important to me that I couldn’t reach. I was always waking up thinking that my skin was starting to burn and that was the only thing I could write. The lady was taking all the fear and all the rest away only was remaining the fire on my skin and the smell of carbon in my nose.
But the nightmare didn’t last. After few days without blood they started to become weaker and weaker. I was half relieved and half frustrated. One day that had been more boring than usual, I bite myself to get blood. I wanted something to happen I wanted to know who I was and the more I was traveling away from Sighişoara, the more I felt that I was traveling away from myself. The life on the boat was so comfortable that I was starting to fear to forget who I was.
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You can really feel the transition for him.
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