Hello everyone !Welcome to Week-end Writing Warrior and Snippet Sunday.
It's time to oscillate back to Demon and Fairy once again. Did you miss Seti? What is supposed to happen is going to be happening soon, when the Chaos's setting in things are generally unpleasant. By the way, the book is 75% off on smashwords through July.
Here are my 8 sentences with creative punctuation for everything to fit, the weirdness continues (of course he is Seti). And we start just where we left off 2 weeks ago.
He
walked out of the shower and rubbed himself with a towel.
“Perfumed
towel, she really has something huge to be forgiven for, I hope they
didn’t empty my room again,” Seti said, drying himself. He would
have preferred his father to yell at him; his weird questions about
fighting on the beach and his mother's strange and uncommon attentions
were more worrying than anything else.
“Maybe,
I scared him enough this morning to have them treat me at least like
a person,” he said, “maybe.” He still doubted it.
He
passed on his clean clothes, and gathered his dirty clothes in the
basket. He walked toward his bedroom. The Chaos manifested suddenly
causing him pain in the back of the head, it wasn’t its usual
voice, it was a strange and disturbing humming sound.
I'm so sorry that you all seem to like Kaji, not that he is a bad guy. Thanks for stopping by for him.
My blog tour for Harajuku Kiss started already, thanks to Chip. If you are interested in knowing more about the book consider stopping to his place, there is also an excerpt over there. All the excerpts are going to be different during the blog tour, I'll hope you'll enjoy them.
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A lot of people like to use creative punctuation to make their snippets fit. I much rather you have extra sentences. I have more than eight, but several are short, so I didn't worry about it.
ReplyDeleteWhen you mentioned that he rubbed himself with a towel, it came off as sexual. Is that what you meant? I'd like a more detailed description of his pain.
http://joycelansky.blogspot.com/2014/07/weekend-writing-warriors-blog-hop-72014.html
I didn't think anything sexual about the towel until I read Joyce's comment and now I can't stop thinking that. I think I would have liked it to read "He walked out of the shower rubbing himself with a towel." It's good to be reading about Seti again.
ReplyDeleteI'm concerned that his parents are up to no good. The perfumed towel and his mother's attention really come through as unusual. Well done.
ReplyDeleteI like the excerpt. I do think you could just delete "rubbing himself with a towel" since you also used "drying himself" a bit later.
ReplyDeleteWeWriWa blog hoppers who have participated a lot probably understand that a little creative punctuation here in the excerpts doesn't reflect how the scene will appear in the finished book. I didn't have concerns about that here.
As a WeWriWa moderator, though, I do want to mention that we are an *eight* sentence meme. Creative punctuation can help writers stay within that guideline. If an excerpt can't be fitted into 8 sentences, it's probably best to choose another snippet.
I always miss Seti when we don't see him for a week or two. Uh oh, something must be up with the Chaos! Can't wait to find out more...
ReplyDeletePerhaps it's context--but I didn't think anything sexual about the towel rub. I wonder what's up with the humming sound? Welcome back, Seti. ;-)
ReplyDeleteHmm, I just wanna know what's up with the humming sound? Yikes!
ReplyDeleteUh oh, never a good sign when the Chaos starts acting up! Another fascinating excerpt...put me on Team Seti.
ReplyDeleteThe perfumed towel is a great detail. It sets the tone for the rest of the snippet. Very nice.
ReplyDeleteHe seems unusually upset about a towel being perfumed... unless he's really angry about something else.
ReplyDeleteSo now I'm curious about his parents. Are they being overly nice because he scared the crap out of them or ... are they up to something else?
ReplyDelete(I'm still working on last weeks.)