Hello fellow Writing Warriors and people enjoying my craziness. Thank you for the warm welcome in both WeWriWar and Snippet Sunday Facebook group last week and for all the nice comments. I really appreciate that take a bit of your time to read my story. And I will try my best to come and read all of yours.
It's time for a new excerpt Sunday and we will continue with Demon and Fairy.
In the preceding episode (first episode) Seti was subject to a strong headache and flying as best as he could to the beach. He had been fighting in the Demon World again and it's never really a nice thing to do, especially for him. If you missed the first installment, you can find it here.
In the following excerpt, Seti remembers how he had see Kallisto for the first time.
Here are today's 8 sentences.
He had bent over the flack again and she was there. The most
beautiful girl he had ever seen in his life. He had stopped to look at her, he
could think about nothing else. She was rocking on the see-saw hanging from the lower branch of a big tree
and playing the flute, slowly, magically the music was coming from the ground
toward him as flowers were blooming at her feet and little fairies were dancing
and flying around her.
And the Chaos had stopped suddenly.
He had plunged his hands in the water trying to reach her, he had
taken his clothes off and dived but he had only hurt his head on some sort of
glass.
“Probably a magical barrier to protect her”, he had thought, “from
people like me, from nasty and vile demons only attached to darkness.”
Since that day he had come each time his head was
hurting, watching her was making the pain disappear.
If you are interested, you can read more about Demon and Fairy here.
Discover the excerpts of other participants through the Week-end Writing Warriors's blog here.
Facebook Snippet Sunday group for more posts here.
Facebook Snippet Sunday group for more posts here.
Interesting story-- a demon and a fairy. I'm intrigued. Will he ever reach her?
ReplyDeleteWatch using "he had" so often, you'll want to change up the phrasing and vary the sentence structure to avoid this.
ReplyDeleteOtherwise, you have the beginnings of an interesting story.
Watch using "he had" so often, you'll want to change up the phrasing and vary the sentence structure to avoid this.
ReplyDeleteOtherwise, you have the beginnings of an interesting story.
Lovely snippet. Was she in water or on land? I read it a few times and couldn't figure that part out.
ReplyDeleteI'd say the demon has it bad for her. :)
ReplyDeleteHistory Sleuth's Writing mysteries.
Is she a Gillie, an underwater faery? If yes, he's going to have to grow fins!
ReplyDeleteI like the way he says that watching her makes the pain disappear. So sweet!
ReplyDelete~Joyce Scarbrough
Aww... watching her makes the pain go away? Slightly stalkerish, perhaps - but in a good way.
ReplyDeleteThis is somewhat like Romeo and Juliet, methinks. Interesting!
ReplyDeleteInteresting. It reads like a fairy tale. :-) Nice 8 :-)
ReplyDelete