Sunday, August 10, 2014

WeWriWar 63 Demon and Fairy

Hello everyone!

Welcome to Week-end Writing Warrior and Snippet Sunday.
So, because I don't know what snippet of Harajuku Kiss to use without ruining the suspense of it, we are once more back to Demon and Fairy.  
If you are interested in reviewing Harajuku Kiss, please use the Goodreads thread, here.

In the previous episodes: Seti let the chaos got out of him as the father of his sister's fiance threaten to break the engagement. Wild, he flies to the beach to see the only person near whom he can get rid of the Chaos without pain, the fairy Kallisto in the Human world below his. He can only observe her through a tidal pool. But this time, she is in danger. Trying to rescue her from a snake, Seti lands in the world below. However, as Kallisto tries to touch him, he flies away back to his hidden place on the beach and listen to Kallisto's conversation with her best friend Kelpie who once again proposes to her and is refused. Kallisto needs to choose between Kelpie or going back to the fairy world to marry prince Kordelius. As the night comes, Kallisto goes home and so does Seti and of course his parents are all weird... (Remember Seti used his forbidden power and left without an explanation... ) Then Seti was mysteriously pushed in his room, in the dark.

Here are my 8 sentences with creative punctuation for everything to fit, the weirdness continues (of course he is Seti). And we start where we left off last weeks.

He managed to get up and to find the door; he passed his hand repeatedly where the handle should have been but it was missing. He wondered if it was the right place, his eyes didn’t manage to get used to the dark; he ran his hand on the wall looking for the switch. It was there, so it was the door, but the handle was gone. He pressed the switch again and again, but nothing happened. He kept on pressing listening to the click of the switch waiting for the light. Then he suddenly started to panic, this darkness wasn’t natural something was wrong with his eyes. He stroked them until they started hurting, but he still couldn’t see a thing. The Chaos in his head was becoming more intense.
Answer to last week's comments:

Yes, Seti is in trouble and not from the Chaos only, seeing that the Chaos is still in his head. Now, what the hell are his parents trying to do... Well, you'll see that over the next few weeks.

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  1. I could sense the panic coming on. Nice job of showing is that, Linda. :-)

  2. Interesting scene with lots of potential. I'd like to read it written from Seti's POV rather than being told about it by the narrator, especially the part in which he discovers he can't see.
    Nice 8!

  3. Some sort of kill or cure strategy?

  4. This still sounds like a hard place to be.

  5. Oh dear, ok now I'm all worried about Seti! And the darkness and the missing door handle and...the CHAOS! Excellent excerpt....

  6. This is good. You really capture the feel of chaos and confusion.

  7. Poor Seti, seems like a pretty scary situation.

  8. I was wondering if he was blind from the previous snippet. But that doesn't explain the missing door handle. Something is very wrong!

  9. It sounds as if poor Seti is caught in the middle of a ba-a-a-ad dream, or some delirious state. I really feel for him.
    By the way, I would make a change in one of your lines to read "until they started hurting" (add 'ed' to start)
    Good 8.

  10. I can't wait to read more of this and find out what's happening to him and why.