Wednesday, January 29, 2014

Hump Day Hook 25

Just when I said last week that Hump Day Hook was over... it's back with a new twist. This week is action week so I'm supposed to share an action Hook. Therefor, I chose to share a little bit of my never ending vampire story: "Vampire Heart" uneditted.

Viorel is having his first fight. 

When they attacked me, I feint not to be scared but I was. I had reviewed the fight in my head several time, guessing with their first move how was going to be the following. I jumped on the left side of the one-eyed fellow and withdraw my sword. He didn’t expect the move and it took him two seconds too much to notice where I was, my blade was already deep in his side. I lowered myself while retrieving it escaping by chance the attack of the bold fellow. The smell of the blood leaking from the side of the first guy was exciting me in a way I wouldn’t have imagine. I hadn’t seen blood since the village in Transylvania and my senses were slowly changing as I moved, becoming more acute. I jumped on the left forcing him to put all his weigh on his left leg as I used his weak balance to attack his right side. I wanted blood more and more and the blade was in his side going up. I wanted to bite him but the fear was stronger. I couldn’t risk being hurt now I had something more important to do. I stood up and ran, blade in hand, as fast as I could back to the inn. I didn’t even take the time to dissimulate my bloody sword before climbing the wooden stairs to my room. I opened the door in a hurry, making the chair fall heavily on the floor, slammed the door behind me and put my back on it. The feeling of something strong on my back made me calm down. The smell of the blood on the sword leaking slowly on my fingers was making me dizzy, the desire for blood was increased by its proximity. I knew I should clean it to make the sensation go away but I kept on looking at it, fascinated and I leaked it. It was an incredible sensation, except for the slight taste of alcohol. I felt regenerate and stronger than ever, I felt that everything I was seeing around me was different, deeper, and more meaningful. This was what it meant to be a vampire.

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  1. Yes, I feel almost dizzy from the heady smell of blood. I'm with your character all the way. I can't decide whether I like the tense jumping or not. It definitely helped convey the "in the moment" urgency/desperation/fuzzy thinking/now.

  2. Great description. Especially love the last line.

  3. Your snippet definitely put me in the moment with the vampire!