Sunday, October 27, 2013

Demon and Fairy WeWriWar 23

Hello everyone, welcome to Week-end Writing Warrior and Snippet Sunday.
Sorry for almost not commenting last week, I was lost in formatting land to finally get my three novels on kindle, smashwords and in my Etsy store. Now that it's done I should be able to visit every one this week again.

In the previous episodes: Seti was in pain and flying to see Kallisto who is the only person who can help him get ride of it. He remembered how he had met her the first time but unfortunately this time it was late at night and she was nowhere to be seen. Seti couldn't spend the night on the Beach and decided to fly home not noticing that another demon entered her house. We followed Seti and discovered his chaotic bedroom before meeting his family for breakfast. They were arguing about Seti's sister's arranged wedding being canceled by the other family and Samira was crying. Their father said that Seti would just have to apologize. and we learn what Seti thinks about the situation. Seti met the twin's father and gave him an unexpected apology demon style which scared everyone around except Taram who had been spying at the scene from the stairs with his twin brother Torin. After the confrontation, as always when he has a headache, Seti flew to the beach and fell asleep near the tidal pool. When Seti waked, he saw Kallisto facing a snake he managed to get through the barrier and stop it from attacking her, at the moment he is about to kill the snake, Kallisto tells him to stop and had him let the snake on the other side of the barrier. Then Seti had an unexpected reaction but Kallisto didn't going to let him go that easily. Kallisto seems to have a very strange combination of people taking care of the security of the house, which scares Seti a little bit while Kallisto seems to consider that he is her best protection. He decided to fly away. 

Here are my 8 sentences. We follow Seti back to his world

He reached the tidal pool from behind and emerged on the surface completely wet. He sneezed. The wind was a bit cold, the water was wetting him only in his world. It was really magical, as if everything in his world was supposed to be made in a way to annoy and hurt him. He huddled, bending over the water. She was looking at the sky trying to see him. For a second, he wondered if she could but apparently not, as she sat back on the swing and started to play again. He couldn’t believe what had just happened. It was like in his dream.
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  1. I bet he'll be back. Our world sounds like something he likes.

  2. I confess. A bit confused.
    Is he wet or not?
    Did the POV change and I missed it?
    What did he approach from behind?
    Is he bending over the pool in his world or ours?

  3. He's most definitely intrigued. Not sure how he can stay away. :)

  4. Hi Frank,
    I think what you missed is Seti's arrival in our world. He just went back where is he coming from the exact same way (which answer the question "can he pass through the barrier to go back? yes)
    There is no change of POV. You might want to try to read this.
    See if the confusion persist.

  5. I really appreciated the vivid descriptions in this excerpt. Excited to see where you take us next! Great 8, Linda!

  6. I know I'd have to go back. Great snippet. Really interesting.

  7. Exciting snippet, I'm enjoying the magic in this story!

  8. He's so confused. It's sad he feels his own world only possesses things that hurt him.

  9. Lovely imaginative story with the blending of two worlds. Thanks.

  10. I really admire your world building

  11. Interesting contrast between the two worlds. I think Seti would like to go back.

  12. I really enjoy this world and how cool that he's looking at a tide pool while she sees the sky. I hope they get back together soon. Great snippet!

  13. Fascinating that he can pass through the pool between his world and this.

  14. I'm looking forward to seeing what happens now, and if the experience has changed him -- and his perception of himself -- at all.

  15. Interesting--water as a scrying pool's a fairly common thing, and a nice image.

  16. Poor Seti is such a tortured soul. I hope this has a happy ending for him! Another good 8, Linda. :-)

  17. Love that they're in two different worlds. Very cool 8.

  18. He can't help himself but to look back again. Maybe he is the way he is in his world but wouldn't be in hers. He's hooked though. :)Good 8 Linda.
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